Singles Day 2020: a guide if you smoke weed and want to start dating

by druginc

Singles Day 2020: a guide if you smoke weed and want to start dating

As part of Singles Day, what about if you smoke weed and want to start dating? With 22% of 18-29 year olds (in the U.S) who smoke weed, the topic of cannabis use is increasingly emerging on dates and in relationships. Dating apps such as Hinge and Bumble have features that let people indicate if they smoke weed, and there are several dating apps specifically for cannabis users.

Sex and weed have been going together for years. There are plenty of studies showing that cannabis can increase sexual activity and pleasure, and a slew of sex-focused cannabis products promise to reduce pain associated with intercourse and improve the bedroom experience, so it's no surprise that marijuana can play a role in dating aspects.

But the stigma against weed is a real problem for singles: 76% of women and 62% of men in a 2015 survey by the dating app Match said they wouldn't date regular weed smokers. In addition, there can be some challenges once smokers are in a relationship, such as negotiating each other's use and navigating consent under the influence. From meeting people to having sex while stoned, here's a guide to dating in the modern age of weed for Singles Day 2020.

After Singles Day: find 420 and weed friendly partners

Many dating apps now let people indicate whether or not they participate in cannabis smoking, so putting that information on your profile can help you filter out people who don't like it, says dating coach Lana Otoya. To be extra open about it, you could write “420 friendly” on your profile.

After Singles Day: find 420 and weed friendly partners
As part of Singles Day 2020: find 420 and weed-friendly partners (afb)

If you don't want to go through the trouble of finding out if your matches are okay with your habits, try a weed-specific app like High There, 420 Singles, or My 420 Mate. Weed-focused events can also provide opportunities for stoners to meet partners.

The sooner you talk about cannabis use with your dates, the better, says sex coach Kristen Thomas. That way, if they have a problem with your habits, you don't waste time making it work. If you're nervous about announcing your usage right away, ask your date after Singles Day if they smoke or have their general feelings about weed, she says.

Some even advocate wrapping up the conversation before your first date. One way to do this is to have a FaceTime call with a virtual smoking session. "If cannabis is part of your life, be it medical or recreational, it is good to know in advance if a prospective partner will agree."

Negotiating each other's cannabis use

In general, warns Otoya Make sure not to express an opinion about your partner's cannabis use. “Not everyone has to live their life like you, including your partner,” she says. "Changing people doesn't work well in relationships, and I don't recommend it."

If your partner's smoking habit is negatively affecting you, she suggests keeping it about your own experience. You can bring it up by saying, "when you do X, I feel Y."

"That's right if it hits you directly, although you can't expect to control their behavior and ultimately have to make choices about compatibility if it's an ongoing issue," she says. If you're less concerned about the impact on yourself and more about how it affects their own lives in general, it's not really your right to comment. "It's not your job to make sure they achieve their goals, and no one should tell anyone else how to live their lives."

If your own smoking habits are bothering your partner, you can offer to set limits, such as smoking outside or not at family gatherings. "A couple who will be in a healthy long-term relationship must be able to find a compromise that works for both parties."

Elise, a 33-year-old who works in the financial sector in Massachusetts, USA, smokes daily in a relationship with a nonsmoker. “It got difficult when we lived together because he can't stand the smell and doesn't want to be there. I adapted a lot because I switched my primary use of consuming to edibles and didn't smoke that often in our apartment, ”she says. “I do smoke in the house every now and then, especially in winter; we open windows and there is only one room where I smoke, so there are non-smoking areas he can go. “

If you can't find a compromise, you may need to have a conversation about the future of your relationship, Manta says. “No one deserves to feel bad about their self-care choices. Your partner is allowed and encouraged to negotiate boundaries around consumption in their presence, or to brush their teeth after consumption / before kissing, but otherwise it's really not their place to tell you how to live your life. “

Scan for mutual consent

“It's a good idea to talk about sex, boundaries, and fantasy before you start merging,” says Thomas. Some people enjoy stoned sex and even have better sex while intoxicated, while others feel it compromises their ability to give consent.

Because people have different reactions to weed, the most important thing is knowing your partner. "I'm very clingy when I'm under the influence, and my partner was the opposite," said Adam Marshall, a 39-year-old facilities manager in LA. "Basically, for us it came down to knowing that when she smoked, any intimacy was no longer on the menu for the night."

Even if you know your partner's general tendencies, it's a good idea to talk about what you want every time you smoke cannabis, and sex is an option. “Before using a cannabis product, have a conversation about what you consume, how much, what your intentions are, what your limits are, how to tell if you are in need and how long you want to play,” she says. "I encourage you to check in regularly throughout the experience to make sure everyone is still on the same page."

If you both think it's cool getting intimate while stoned, Thomas suggests using a 'red, yellow, green' system to communicate your boundaries: when you're comfortable, you can say 'green' if your comfort zone is pushed, but you want to continue, you can say 'yellow' and if you are completely outside your comfort zone and want to stop, say 'red'.

Many couples love to light up together and find that it improves both their relationships and their sex life. The key is to make sure you're on the same page, both about each other's uses and anything you might be doing while under the influence. Cannabis will only bring you closer if you take the opportunity to discuss it and get to know each other better. Ideas for after Singles Day?

Sources including CannabisTrainingUniversity (EN), Mashable (EN), WeedMaps (EN)

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